How to Make Phone Calls When You Hate Them: Prep, Openers and Voicemail

You’ve had that dentist appointment to reschedule on your list for nine days now. Every day you come back to that phone call, but for some reason you put it off till after lunch, till tomorrow. This type of anxiety mostly stems from the fear of not knowing what to say in the first 10 seconds of the conversation and then being unable to answer subsequent questions that the dentist or front office staff may ask you. However, the more you prepare for these questions the less fear you’ll have regarding them.

First, make a short list to prepare for these types of calls (i.e. for appointments and for other business-related calls, and for friend calls). For each type of call, write down three things you need to have ready in advance, and then use those to craft a very simple and clear way to open the call. Then keep a few backup lines ready for hold music, transfers and blank moments.

Write down three things before you dial

Remember to write down 3 points to refer to during the call before you place the call. The list should be easily referable and for a dentist’s appointment it’s unlikely to need too much and most of the information can be written down beforehand.

• Your opening sentence. Who you are and what you want, in one line.
• The details they will ask for. These can include your full name, your date of birth, your account or policy number, your full address, the name of the prescription and your order number.
• Your answers to likely questions. In preparation for likely questions make a short list of what you are willing to accept in case your preferred option is not available. (e.g. what other dates would you consider, do you want an 8am or 9am appointment, do you want to accept an appointment earlier than you had hoped, are you willing to accept an appointment with another doctor.)

It is very helpful to have your calendar open while you are making the call. Front desks will often give you a time and space to look at your schedule and tell them if it will work for you or not. Just having a pen handy to write down the date, time and name of the person you spoke with is very helpful.

123

1. 1
   Sticky note with the opener

   His first sentence is written out, so the opening ten seconds need no thought. After a transfer, he can read it again word for word.

2. 2
   Open calendar and pen

   When the front desk offers a time, he can check it on the spot and write down the date and the name of the person who helped him.

3. 3
   Phone on speaker

   Speaker mode keeps his hands free for the pen and lets him set the phone down during hold music.

Open with one sentence that says why you’re calling

Remember, when you call a front desk, the person who answers is usually multitasking. They want to know who you are and why you’re calling as quickly as possible. So, be polite and give them what they want. That means a short complete statement that describes who you are and why you’re calling. Small talk and apologizing for calling are not required.

For a clinic, it can sound like this:

For a business, the same pattern works:

Typically the person on the phone will be reading from a script so answer from your note as they will ask you the details of your call. Should they ask you something that you were not expecting, inform them that you will have to check and they will usually wait for your answer.

Sam calls the clinic to reschedule

1. 
   Jordan

   Riverside Clinic, this is Jordan.

2. 
   Sam

   Hi, this is Sam Lee, I'm a patient of Dr. Patel and I need to reschedule my appointment on the 14th.

3. 
   Jordan

   Sure. What's your date of birth? And do you want to stay with Dr. Patel, or take whoever has the earliest opening?

4. 
   Sam

   March 3rd, 1994. Give me one second to check my calendar. I'd like to stay with Dr. Patel, any afternoon next week.

5. 
   Jordan

   Tuesday the 21st at 2:30 works.

6. 
   Sam

   Great, so Tuesday the 21st at 2:30 with Dr. Patel. Thanks, Jordan.

Handle hold music and transfers

Even if the phone does go on hold, this does not necessarily mean something has gone wrong. Place the phone on speaker and set it down, doing something trivial like cutting your nails or straightening a loose paper while you wait. If you are put into an automated menu, try pressing 0, saying ‘representative’ or pressing the number that represents speaking to a person and hopefully you will be transferred to someone who can deal with your problem or requirement. This varies, so if it fails, pick the closest option.

The next person you speak with will often have no idea what you said to the front desk before you were transferred. This is why you repeat the opening sentence of your note word for word to the new person after you are transferred. It is also a good idea to ask for a direct dial number to the person’s desk that you are trying to reach in case you are disconnected from the call. If the call then drops, you can call the person back directly and say you were disconnected.

What to do when the call takes a turn

You're put on hold+

Switch to speaker, set the phone down and keep your note in view.

An automated menu doesn't match your reason+

Try pressing 0 or saying "representative." If that fails, pick the closest option.

Someone is about to transfer you+

Ask for a direct number first, in case the call drops.

A new person picks up after a transfer+

Read your opening sentence again word for word.

They ask something you can't answer right now+

Say you need to check and ask whether you can call back. You can stop the call there.

Recover when your mind goes blank

Even with adequate preparation, it is possible that you will forget critical information during a phone call. If this happens, do not worry. The other party is likely to not even notice a few seconds of silence. You can always buy time to recall information needed by stating:

Then review your note. If you lose track of what they said, ask them to repeat it. Front desk staff do this all day. Be sure to read back key information (e.g. a new time and date for an appointment) and write down what the other party confirmed for you.

Leave a voicemail that gets a call back

A voicemail can seem difficult to leave for reasons not listed above (no one to answer your questions, etc.). However, a voicemail needs to contain several pieces of information in the following order: your name, reason for call, one important piece of information to aid in call back, your phone number (said slowly) twice, and the best time to reach you for return call.

Something like this covers it:

Your initial message does not have to be perfect. As long as they can hear your one detail and your phone number, you are good to go.

Call a friend you’d normally text

Research on reconnecting with old friends found that people predicted phone calls would be more awkward than email, yet in fact they created a stronger connection and were no more awkward than email². Research on people who had never met before also found that conversations that included voice (video or voice chat) helped to build a stronger bond of connection than text chat (while adding no extra awkwardness)¹. However, this research was with friends and strangers, so it says nothing measured about calling a pharmacy or other organization.

A quick text first takes care of timing:

Open with why you thought of them, then ask one question about their life. Have something prepared in advance but do not feel like you have to fill every silence. Calls can be as short as 10 minutes and still be of value.

Make one call today

Pick the worst call you have been avoiding. Write out the opening sentence and required notes on a sticky note. Open up your calendar. Pull up the phone number and dial it before you can go read it over again a third time. You can even practice out the call in Quippy with a scene partner first.

Read more in How to Rejoin a Group Chat After Going Quiet for Weeks.

Sources and references

1. Kumar, A. & Epley, N. (2021). It's surprisingly nice to hear you: Misunderstanding the impact of communication media can lead to suboptimal choices of how to connect with others. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 150(3), 595-607.Field experiment where participants reconnected with an old friend by phone or email, plus lab chats between strangers over video, voice or text; it measured expected and felt awkwardness and connection, not calls to doctors or businesses, and it did not study anxiety disorders.
2. Conick, H. (2020). How to connect with others in the age of social distancing. University of Chicago News.University news summary of the same Epley field experiment (old friends, phone vs email) before publication; secondary report, same limits as the study it summarizes.