How to Speak Up in Meetings When You Keep Missing the Moment

You had that idea 20 minutes ago. You may have even rehearsed the first part of the first sentence a couple of times. Others may have had a chance to interject before you got a word in edgewise. But the topic has moved on. If the moment passes, you can still get your ideas in front of the right people by following up after the meeting with a quick note or phone call. In order to get your ideas in front of the right people at the meeting, the fix is mostly mechanical. Go in with one clear point to convey. Make a small, token contribution early on. Then enter on a natural transition with a short opening line and present your point in about three short sentences.

Holding back at work is common. An exploratory study conducted to understand the process of raising concerns with supervisors in US workplaces found that 34 out of 40 full-time employees (85%) reported having held back on raising some concern that they thought was important at some time or another¹. The reason mentioned most often was fear that expressing their concerns would lead to them being viewed negatively and even damage their positive working relationships. Note that this was for raising concerns with their bosses rather than for meetings in general. So while it doesn’t specifically describe meetings, the fear it describes will sound familiar to many quieter people who are considering speaking up in meetings. The steps below outline ways to make speaking up in meetings feel smaller and more routine.

Pick one point before the meeting starts

Read the agenda for the meeting to be held, or read the title of the email that was sent to you in preparation for the meeting. Pick the one agenda item that you will be able to contribute to. Write down your point in one sentence. This can be something as simple as “We could try to pilot this new form with one team first.” Note that if you write something like “I have some thoughts on onboarding,” then you will have to build out the rest of the thoughts that you have on onboarding during the meeting. And that is where you will probably end up rambling.

By adding one reason to your prepared sentence, you can expand it to a full sentence plus a because, which is easily enough to speak. Keep the note that you used to come up with your contribution to the meeting somewhere where you can look at it, for example, a sticky note or the top of the meeting notes in the document you used for notes.

Bring your best idea to the meeting and use the other ideas for a later email. That one clear contribution to the meeting is much easier for the busy room to pick up than three not so clear contributions.

Say something in the first ten minutes

Early contributions don’t have to be deep. You can simply answer a status question, confirm a date, or even add one more detail to someone else’s thoughts. This is very easy to do as it is based on what you have just heard. In video meetings keep your camera on, keep your cursor near the unmute button and click to start speaking as soon as you hear the speaker’s voice drop to the end of a sentence and they start to lean back in their chair and search for their notes.

Early contributions to meetings do not have to be long or profound. In fact, answering a status question, confirming a date, or adding a single detail to someone else’s idea for the meeting are all great contributions to a meeting. Such contributions might be:

On a video call make sure your camera is on and your cursor is near the unmute button. That way your first contribution can be as easy as clicking a mouse. If you usually wait for the perfect moment, treat the first ten minutes of a meeting as your window and plan to use it.

Spot a natural moment to come in

The openings in a meeting typically come as transitions from one point to another (end of a speaker’s argument, end of a slide, etc.) as well as questions by the facilitator for additional comments. That is where the voices of new contributors are expected.

Pay attention to the speaker. When they finish speaking a sentence, and then lean back in their chair or start to search through their notes, it usually means they’re finished speaking on that subject. Don’t wait for what feels like an uncomfortable silence of even one second. The topic can move on quickly.

Raising your hand or leaning forward can get the attention of the speaker and facilitator(s) and allow them to recognize you.

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1. 1
   The prepared point

   Sam's sticky note holds his one sentence and its reason, so he doesn't have to hold the wording in his head.

2. 2
   A natural transition

   The slide on the screen has just changed. A shift like that is a moment when the room expects a new voice.

3. 3
   An open listener

   Jordan is turned toward Sam and looking at him. Leaning forward yourself gives a facilitator or colleague the cue to bring you in.

Open with a line that claims the floor

Your first words in a meeting set the expectation for what you are to say. Don’t start off with an apology such as “Sorry, this might be a silly question.” These words can take up your opening seconds and bring the audience’s expectations down to wondering what silly question you could possibly ask.

Linking to what just was said is easiest of all:

If the conversation has moved in another direction, go back to the earlier point:

If you start speaking at the same time as someone else, tell them you’ll speak after them. This will allow you to speak after they have finished speaking on that point. Be careful not to allow yourself to get talked over once you have started speaking.

Sam gets the idea in (illustrative)

1. 
   Jordan

   So the new form goes live for everyone on the first. Anything else on onboarding?

2. 
   Sam

   Building on that, I think we could test it with the support team first. They take the most new hires, so we'd catch problems quickly.

3. 
   Jordan

   That's a good point. How long would the test run?

4. 
   Sam

   Two weeks should be enough. I can set it up and share what we find.

5. 
   Jordan

   Let's do that. Sam, can you send the plan by Friday?

Say it in three sentences, then stop

A simple framework to keep yourself on track: 1. A statement of the point you want to make; 2. A brief explanation of one reason for the point; 3. A suggestion on what to do next. Here’s an example of how this might sound in a real meeting:

Then stop talking. That silence can feel long, but it usually means people are hard at work thinking of a response. Try to keep your follow-up responses brief. A single sentence or two to answer a question is sufficient to show that you’ve thought about the issue at hand.

Build your own three-sentence point

I think we should [your point]. [One reason], so [what the team gains]. Could we [a small next step]?

Your point+

The one sentence you wrote before the meeting. Keep it specific enough to act on.

One reason+

Pick the single strongest reason. Save the others in case someone asks.

What the team gains+

Name a concrete result, such as catching problems sooner or saving a step.

A small next step+

Suggest something easy to agree to, such as a short trial, a quick check or a follow-up conversation.

Follow up when the moment passed

It is possible that your ideas are not brought up in a meeting before the moment has passed. Send an email within a few hours to the responsible person or to the meeting thread if your team is using one. As with the spoken version, it should consist of the point, a reason for it, and the next step.

Just make sure it is as short as would be necessary for an oral contribution (i.e. point, reason, next step(s)). Here is an example:

This also enables you to reference the previous correspondence in future meetings related to this topic. For instance, you could begin by saying, “I sent a quick idea on this after Tuesday…”.

If you often leave meetings with points unsaid, remind your manager or the person running the meeting that you are a quieter speaker and that they should check in with you before closing an item.

You missed the moment. What now?

A decision is still open on the topic+

Send a short note to the decision owner today with your point, one reason and a next step.

The team has a shared meeting thread+

Post your follow-up there so everyone in the meeting sees it.

The topic is on the next agenda+

Mention your earlier note when the item comes up and use it as your opening line.

The decision is already final+

Stop there for this one. Save the idea for a future discussion where it applies.

This happens in most of your meetings+

Ask your manager or the facilitator to check in with quieter people before closing an item.

Try it in your next meeting

Find your next meeting that has an agenda. Write one sentence with the main point of what you want to say and one sentence with the reasoning behind it. Decide when you will start speaking (e.g. when the corresponding agenda point is started). Note whether you managed to speak and how it was for you to do so in the meeting.

These lines can be practiced using Quippy to practice real conversations before a meeting. The ‘first line’ of a conversation can be particularly tricky to say out loud, and Quippy lets you rehearse it with a scene partner before the meeting.

Sources and references

1. Milliken, Morrison & Hewlin (2003). An Exploratory Study of Employee Silence: Issues That Employees Don't Communicate Upward and Why. Journal of Management Studies (authors' manuscript).Interviews with 40 full-time US employees in industries such as consulting and financial services about raising concerns to supervisors; small exploratory sample, about upward concerns rather than ideas in meetings specifically.