How to Message Someone on LinkedIn for Advice (With Examples)

To ask for help on LinkedIn you need to write a short introduction of yourself, state why you are choosing to connect with this person in particular, and then request one small thing from them, with a clear time limit. Keep it short enough to read on a phone. Also make it easy for that person to decline your request for help.

It’s hard to actually send the note. Help seekers in a number of mostly in-person studies underestimated the percentage of individuals who actually would agree to help (by as much as 50%¹). (Note: These studies did not test asking for help via messages on a platform such as LinkedIn, and as opposed to in-person help seeking, ignoring a message is relatively easy compared to having to refuse help in person.) So, send the note, but there is no guarantee of a reply.

Pick someone with a clear reason to ask them

You can start with people you share something with, such as people from the same school, former employer, student organization, or even the exact job you want. Having a reason to ask them in the first line of your message also answers the biggest question every reader of a cold message has: why did you choose me?

Distant connections can also be useful to contact. Randomized experiments were conducted on LinkedIn’s connection recommendations for more than 20 million members, measuring job mobility. Weaker ties increased job moves up to a certain point, after which the returns diminished. The pattern of these returns was different for various industries. In less digital industries, it was strong ties that increased job mobility². That work measured job changes and did not study advice chats. Still, it suggests a near stranger with something in common is also worth contacting.

Scan their profile for 1 concrete hook (e.g. a post they wrote about a project they are working on, or their career transition). Use this in one line of your connection note.

Write a connection note in about 300 characters

As long as you’re not already connected with the person, you can add a short note to your connection request on LinkedIn, which will display in a box that can run approximately 300 characters. That leaves room for two or three short sentences, so each one needs a job.

Here is an invented example from a student named Sam:

It works because it names a real detail from Jordan’s profile and keeps the ask small. Swap in your own school and the detail you found to make this example applicable to your needs. The basic structure will work for your needs too.

Adapt this connection note

Hi [their first name], I'm [your name], a [your program or current role]. I saw [one specific detail from their profile]. Could I ask you [one small ask] about [topic]? Totally fine if now isn't a good time.

Your program or current role+

Use a few words, such as your major and school or your current job title.

Specific detail from their profile+

Pick something they posted, a career move or a shared school or employer. One detail is enough.

One small ask+

Choose one: two quick questions by message or a 15-minute call. Avoid asking for both.

Topic+

Name the subject so they know what saying yes involves, such as switching to in-house roles.

Make one small, specific ask

A request to “pick their brain” leaves them guessing what you want and how long it will take, so frame your ask in a way that makes it easy for them to say yes. Help them out by choosing one of two shapes: a question that can be answered in a message or a short call that you set a time box for.

• Ask them a question in a message, such as how they landed their first job in that field.
• A 15-minute call in the next two weeks.

Once they accept the connection, you can send one short paragraph in a message explaining your request for help. An example of this would be:

The request must state exactly what would be required of the other person in terms of time and topic.

Make it easy to say yes or no

Help seekers in in-person help studies focus on the cost of saying yes and not as much on the cost of saying no¹. Thus, although a LinkedIn message is likely to be easier to decline than an in-person request for help, it is still possible to decrease the cost of both yes and no for the other person by specifying an exit point and providing alternatives that require no additional communication.

• Offer 2 or 3 possible times, or say you are happy to talk whenever is best for them.
• Say plainly that a written reply is fine.
• Don’t include your résumé or ask for a referral in the first note.

Asking for a job in the first note turns the request for advice into a much bigger favor. Should things go well, come back to that topic for discussion later.

An easy exit that still gets an answer

1. 
   Sam

   Thanks for connecting, Jordan. I'm weighing agency and in-house brand roles. Could I ask you two quick questions on a 15-minute call in the next couple of weeks? A written reply works too.

2. 
   Jordan

   Happy to help. Calls are tough this month, though. What are the questions?

3. 
   Sam

   Thanks. What surprised you most after moving in-house? And which skills mattered more than you expected?

4. 
   Jordan

   How much writing there was. Practice brand briefs. You could also talk to someone on our strategy team.

5. 
   Sam

   That's really helpful. I'll start a brief this week. Thank you for taking the time.

Follow up once, then let it go

It’s also worth noting that messages can get lost in cyberspace. If you hear nothing, sending a follow-up message after a week or so would be perfectly in order, and should consist of only one line or so (e.g. “No worries, just a bump to ensure you saw the initial message”). After that, though, you should cease to pester the person and move on to others who are more interested in talking to you at that time.

Stop after one follow-up. A second follow-up message would be too pushy, so proceed with other inquiries for similar help.

What to do after you send it

They reply with a time or a yes+

Confirm the time in their time zone, thank them and start writing your three questions.

They answer in writing and skip the call+

Thank them, mention one thing you will try and leave the door open without asking for a call again.

They say they are too busy+

Thank them briefly and stop. Ask nothing further.

No reply after about a week+

Send one short follow-up that keeps the easy exit.

Still no reply after the follow-up+

Stop here and write to the next person on your list.

Prepare for the call when they say yes

Read the person’s profile on LinkedIn before the call. Come up with 3 questions that cannot be answered by doing some additional research on the person and put the meeting in your calendar with their time zone checked.

• What do you wish you had known in your first year?
• Which skills matter more than job postings suggest?
• Who else would be worth talking to?

Start the call by thanking them for their time and reiterating the 15 minutes allocated for the call. Remember to keep track of time and bring up the subject of concluding the call when the 15 minutes are up.

123

1. 1
   The message thread

   Sam reread Jordan's reply and profile on the laptop, so the opening thank-you can mention the detail that started the conversation.

2. 2
   Three printed questions

   Each question asks about Jordan's judgment and has an answer a quick search could not provide. Three is enough for 15 minutes.

3. 3
   The calendar reminder

   The phone reminder is set in Jordan's time zone. Sam can glance at it to keep to the promised time limit.

Send a thank-you the same day that mentions one thing you plan to do with their advice (the follow-up update is described below):

Send a follow-up update later and note how you applied their advice and what happened as a result.

Send one message today

Start with one person: Send one message today. Choose one person you shared something with and write a very short message (less than 300 characters) with one very small ask. Send it before you start to rework the note. If the call makes you nervous, practice your opening and 3 questions for the call out loud with a scene partner in Quippy first.

Sources and references

1. Flynn, F. J., & Lake, V. K. (2008). If you need help, just ask: Underestimating compliance with direct requests for help. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.Six studies (lab and natural field settings) of direct, mostly in-person requests for help; measured predicted versus actual agreement; not about online or written messages to strangers.
2. Rajkumar, K., Saint-Jacques, G., Bojinov, I., Brynjolfsson, E., & Aral, S. (2022). A causal test of the strength of weak ties. Science.Randomized experiments on LinkedIn's People You May Know recommendations across more than 20 million members over five years; measured job mobility, not advice conversations, and the effect varied by industry.