How to Introduce Two People, in Person or by Email

You’re at a friend’s birthday party, and two people you like are standing a few feet apart from each other, both of them with a drink in hand and peering at their phones. Or, a friend wants you to make an introduction to someone who can help them get a foot in the door for the field in which they want to work. In either case, it’s a good introduction if it names both people clearly and gives them a specific reason to talk to each other after you’re no longer there.

In person, a 2-sentence intro is sufficient. However, an email or text introduction typically begins with a question to both parties to confirm an introduction is desired. Below are the wordings for an in-person introduction as well as an email or text message introduction, followed by what to do next to ensure the two people can continue to talk with you out of the picture.

Introduce two people in person

Begin with the most honored person and then introduce the other to them. So if it is a birthday party for a friend, you would introduce their name first and then say “this is…” to bring the other person into the circle. The order of introduction among friends matters less than saying both names clearly.

Next: add the hook. A hook is a short, specific fact that gives each person a reason to ask the other a question. Let them join the dots.

Here is Sam introducing two friends at a party:

This way, Riley knows to ask Jordan about the ferry to Skye, and Jordan will know why Riley might care. If for some reason you can only think of one piece of information to share about the other person, just go with it and hope the other person picks up on it. And if you forget someone’s name mid-introduction, just apologize to them and continue with the rest of the introduction.

Hand off the conversation and step back

Now it is their turn to talk. Point them at their shared detail, wait for the first answer and then get out of there. Make sure to come back and check in a few minutes later though.

A simple handoff line sounds like this:

Remember to step back from the two people introduced after the handoff of the conversation. As often people keep talking with the person that introduced them in the conversation out of politeness and respect for that person, it is advisable to take a half step back from the two newly found people and to go for example to get some water for them and return after some minutes to check on them. If the two people introduced to each other by you still haven’t found enough common ground to keep talking to each other, look for an additional item of commonality and then step back from them again.

123

1. 1
   Name and point

   Sam's open flipper shows exactly who he is introducing, so the name lands on the right person.

2. 2
   The shared detail

   Jordan's hiking map is the hook. It gives the other person an easy first question about the trip.

3. 3
   The half step back

   Sam's step back and turned shoulder hand the conversation over, so the two people face each other.

Ask both people first before an email or text introduction

When one person asks for an introduction for something such as career advice, a job lead or a favor, check with the other person first before introducing them via an email or other message. This is known as double opt-in where both people agree to be introduced before their names go in a message together.

Sam checks with Jordan before making the email introduction

1. 
   Sam

   Quick question before I do anything: my friend Riley is switching into product design. Would you be up for a short call with him?

2. 
   Jordan

   Maybe. What are they hoping to get out of it?

3. 
   Sam

   Mostly feedback on a first portfolio. Twenty minutes, whenever suits you.

4. 
   Jordan

   That I can do. Next week works better than this one.

5. 
   Sam

   Great. I'll send one email to you both and let Riley suggest times.

Send a short private note to the person being asked.

It’s also best to make it easy for the other person to decline your request. So you could say something like “No pressure at all if your schedule is full” or “If you’re not available then I completely understand”. A clear yes from Jordan means Riley gets a warm reply, and a no saves everyone an unanswered thread. When both people clearly benefit, such as two friends who just moved to the same city, you can usually skip the check.

Should you ask first?

One person is asking for advice, a lead or a favor+

Message the person being asked privately and get a yes before you connect them.

Both people clearly benefit and would welcome it+

Send the introduction directly to both.

The person being asked says no or not now+

Tell the requester kindly that the timing isn't right, and stop there.

No reply after about a week+

Treat it as a no for now and don't send the introduction.

Write the introduction message

You then write a message with both people in it and describe in the subject line why you made the connection and then in each introduction paragraph explain to each person why you connected them with the other person. It is very simple and you can even include things like their time zone, or how they prefer to communicate.

Here is an invented sample email:

End your part in the introduction by handing off the next step to the person who wanted the introduction in the first place. This ensures that Jordan doesn’t have to chase the scheduling and can simply reply to the email and pick a time that works for him.

Adapt the introduction email

Subject: Intro: [Person A] ([their focus]) and [Person B] Hi [Person B] and [Person A], [Person B], meet [Person A]. [One line on Person A's background]. They'd love your take on [specific request]. [Person A], [Person B] [one line on why they're worth meeting]. I'll let you two take it from here. [Person A], could you suggest a few times that work for you?

Specific request+

Name one concrete thing, such as feedback on a portfolio, so the person being asked knows the size of the favor.

Background line+

One sentence that explains where Person A is coming from. Skip a full résumé.

Why they're worth meeting+

Mention something true and relevant about Person B that tells Person A why this contact fits.

Next move+

Hand scheduling to the person who asked, so the busier person doesn't have to chase it.

Move yourself out of the thread

Once both people have agreed to talk to each other, your part is over in email: the first person to reply can then move the introducer to bcc and add the comment “Moving Sam to bcc, thanks for the intro.” In group texts, wait for both to have said hello and then either leave the chat or start a new one with the two of them.

Follow up with each person afterward

Wait a day or two and then send each of them a very short private email. As has been shown in studies of strangers talking in labs as well as in studies of first-year college students and adults at a personal development workshop, people underestimate the extent to which their conversation partners like them and enjoy their company¹. The research looked at conversations in general and did not study introductions. Still, it suggests that sending each of them one word of praise or thanks in an email a couple of days after an intro can tell them something that in a first conversation with a stranger they wouldn’t be able to tell.

A note to Jordan might read:

Only pass along information you actually have (e.g. did the other person say thank you?) and ask the other person for information you don’t have (e.g. “did that go well for you?”). Thank both people for their time in general.

Practice your next introduction

Choose a different introduction for yourself to make this week (e.g. two people with shared interests, someone who can help someone you know). Write the hook line or opt-in message for this introduction, and practice saying the introduction out loud. If you want to practice a full conversation, use Quippy to practice with a scene partner.

Sources and references

1. Boothby, Cooney, Sandstrom and Clark (2018). The Liking Gap in Conversations: Do People Like Us More Than We Think? Psychological Science.Strangers in a lab, first-year college dorm mates and adults at a personal development workshop rated their own liking and guessed their partner's after conversations; it measures perceived versus actual liking, not introductions specifically.