Ask your manager “Any feedback for me?” and get “No, you’re doing great.” That’s nice to hear. But it doesn’t give you any guidance as to how to improve. You won’t know whether last week’s project was as good as you thought it was.

Instead of asking really broad questions of your manager, use a really narrow focus. Ask about one piece of work or one skill. Then ask your manager what you can do differently next time the opportunity arises. Make sure to give your manager a little heads up before your 1:1 so he or she can collect their thoughts before delivering the feedback. And then listen to their feedback before you explain. Put the feedback into action and report out on it later.

Pick one piece of work or one skill

Although broad questions receive broad answers, good feedback requires a more targeted question. Asking your manager “How am I doing?” will lead to him or her summing up weeks of your work, and most managers will reply with something polite and general.

Next, you want to limit the scope of your question to be able to work with the feedback that your manager will provide. This usually means picking a single deliverable that your manager recently saw, or a single skill that you are currently trying to improve at. So if you are new to a company, it would be better to ask about work that your manager actually saw, rather than something that they only heard about from someone else.

Work that your manager only heard about via others is generally off-limits for new employees as it asks them to guess at the details of your work.

Ask what to do differently next time

You’ll get more useful feedback if you ask about your next attempt at the work or skill than you would from a broad question about your overall performance.

Studies of Executive MBA students (all of whom are working managers) and their performance reviews with each other in role plays, find that when managers are given feedback that is focused on future action, they are more motivated to change than when given feedback that focuses on past actions1. Note that this research used role plays and self-reports, so it does not show what happens to performance in actual workplaces over time.

Here is a narrow, forward-looking question you can ask in a 1:1:

Example message

For the Q3 client deck, what’s one thing I should do differently on the next one?

Asking for one thing is very important here. There are many, many factors that determine how effective your feedback will be. One of the things that is most important is asking for one thing. Give your manager permission to say one thing and they can be specific without feeling like they’re writing a formal review.

Give your manager a heads-up before the 1:1

Feedback without context can be quite vague. If you can prepare your manager for your feedback questions a day or two before your 1:1 session, he or she can go back and reassess the work you’ve done for more concrete feedback.

This can be a very short email:

Example message

Hi Jordan, just wanted to touch base for our 1:1 on Thursday. Would you mind spending 5 minutes or so of it on the onboarding guide I sent last week for feedback on how I can make the next onboarding for new hires even easier to follow? Thank you. Happy to resend the link if that helps.

Adapt the heads-up message

Hi [manager's name], in our 1:1 on [day] could we spend five minutes on [one piece of work]? Mainly I'd like to know [one question about next time]. Happy to resend the link if that helps.

Manager's name

Use the name you normally use with them in chat.

Day

Name the specific 1:1 so they know when to expect the topic.

One piece of work

Pick something recent that your manager actually saw, such as one deck, report or presentation.

One question about next time

Ask what would make the next version better, and keep it to a single question.

Just by letting your manager know ahead of time that you are planning to discuss a particular work item in your 1:1, they will be more likely to have reviewed the work recently and to have actual feedback for you as opposed to just vague recollections of your past performance.

What a prepared feedback 1:1 looks likeTap each point to see how Sam set up this conversation before it started.
Sam, a penguin with round glasses and a coral tie, sits across a meeting table from Jordan. Sam holds a small notepad, a shared document is open on the wall screen, and a laptop on the right shows a calendar.
  1. One written question

    Sam wrote down one forward question before the meeting: what to do differently on the next one. Having it on paper keeps the ask narrow when the conversation starts.

  2. The one piece of work

    The onboarding guide is open on the screen, so both people are looking at the same work. Feedback about something your manager can see right now is easier to make specific.

  3. The heads-up

    The 1:1 was booked with a note about the topic a day ahead. That gave Jordan time to look at the guide again and come with a real answer.

What to say when the answer is just praise

Sometimes the feedback you receive will be praise with no detail and therefore of little use to you in your efforts to improve. You will therefore need to turn the manager’s compliment into something useful. Thank the manager for their feedback and then ask for further clarification of it in terms of how you can use it to improve.

This works in person or in a reply:

Example message

Thanks for the kind words. What’s one thing that you feel is currently working well for me, that I should continue to do? And, is there one tiny thing that I could do to make this even better?

Your first question will help you know what to protect. Your second question will help you uncover something your manager hasn’t thought was important to mention. If the answer is still “nothing,” then you can ask again after your next major work effort.

What to do with your manager's answer

They give one specific suggestion

Ask for an example from the work, then say what you'll try on the next one.

They say you're doing great

Thank them, then ask which part is working and what one small thing would make it stronger.

They raise a problem that stings

Ask where it went wrong before you explain any context.

They still have nothing to add

Stop there. Ask again after your next big piece of work.

How to hear criticism without defending yourself

The hard feedback is usually the hardest to hear. We all have an initial reaction to explain why something didn’t work. We may say that the deadline changed or that the data wasn’t ready on time or that someone else in the team changed the slides. The manager giving feedback may even agree with us. But our job is to listen and understand.

However, there is also the risk of managers discounting mixed or negative feedback by doubting its accuracy and the qualifications of the person giving it (as evidenced by studies of how managers respond to review feedback1). Disagreement about past performance was also greater after the feedback discussion than before it, due to recipients’ self-protective explanations1. These studies were conducted with managers role-playing and reporting on reviews, so the findings won’t map exactly onto your job.

Ask the question first and then worry about the context later.

Example message

That’s helpful to hear. Can you show me where the report got confusing, so I know what to fix first?

And yes, you can disagree but make sure you have first understood their point of view. Afterwards you can rephrase their feedback in terms of your next task and express your possible deviating point of view. For example: “Next time: Would it help if I notified you as soon as possible of any delays in the data that I provide?”

Hearing criticism and turning it into a next step

  1. Jordan

    The report was solid overall. The summary page was hard to follow, though. I had to read it twice.

  2. Sam

    That's helpful to hear. Which part lost you first?

  3. Jordan

    The second chart. I couldn't tell which numbers were from this quarter.

  4. Sam

    Got it. Next time I'll label the quarter on each chart and put the main number at the top. Would that fix it?

  5. Jordan

    Yes, that would help a lot. Send me the next draft before it goes out.

  6. Sam

    Will do. You'll have it Wednesday.

Follow up so your manager sees you used it

By showing your manager that you acted on their feedback, they will know that their time was well spent and will hopefully be more inclined to help you out again in the future.

After you use the feedback, send the simple email below to the manager who provided the feedback. This shows the manager that you actually used their feedback and therefore your manager will most likely continue to provide you with quality feedback in future conversations.

Example message

Quick update: on this week’s guide I moved the setup steps to the top, like you suggested. Does it read more clearly to you now?

Keep applying this one piece of work + one forward question per session and you will have a good stock of changes to refer to in a few months when it is time for a formal review with your manager.

Your next step

Just pick one piece of work you’d like feedback on and send your manager a short heads-up about it. Prepare your forward question in advance and fire away at your next 1:1 meeting. Practice the conversation with Quippy first and write out the words you’d like to use in your conversation.

If saying these questions out loud in the meeting is too awkward then practice this conversation in Quippy first. Practice with a scene partner in this tool until you can repeat these words back in the actual conversation with your manager.

Sources and references

  1. Gnepp, Klayman, Williamson & Barlas (2020). The future of feedback: Motivating performance improvement through future-focused feedback. PLOS ONE.Managers (Executive MBA students) described real feedback experiences and role-played performance reviews; measured feedback acceptance and intention to change; role-play and self-report, managers giving feedback to each other rather than a field trial.